How to Escape Plastic Handcuffs

I hate handcuffs. There’s nothing sexy about them. I really hate the plastic ones. It’s like being given a paper plate or plastic cup or something. They hurt in a much less tolerable way than the metal ones, too.

Although I don’t have any cuffs to test this on, I tested it on the fattest cable tie I could find, and it worked.
The mass arrests of the future will be very interesting, although at my age, I can’t pretend the repression industry isn’t falling all over itself to develop “pin proof” plastic handcuffs. Until the industrial engineers design a fix, they get produced, and the State upgrades, this might be fun. Of course this requires the buddy system, unless you luck out and get cuffed funny.


I imagine that looking for the literal needle in the haystack will dramatically increase arrest times, given the rightful aversion to needles that police have. I’m sure we buy them magic gloves or something though.

What will really be funny, is the first time that this happens en masse, and “good protesters” denounce the removing plastic shackles as act of violence. Mark my words, I can hear it already.

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3 Comments

  1. HAHAHAHAAH AWESOME just bloody awesome I gotta post ur article on the DIY section on 3monkeyz.net… and lets buy neeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeedles 😀

  2. The “good protestors”, haha! They definitely will say that, knowing the liberal “Peace Police” and their shield of “non-violence”, which is basically just sucking up to the cops…haha!
    I’m not sure if this would work for the plastic handcuffs that are more like grocery store zip ties, though…since they’re much smaller than what’s shown in the video.

  3. It should work on the cheap zip-tie ones. I conducted my independent tests with a zip tie, and a beat up safety pin.


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