Don’t cry, it gets worse by the second

The recent “out breed the rich” programme is continuing to be a success. I’d like to take up a little space to welcome a new comrade to the world, unless he goes all Alex Keaton, to be oppositional.

I don’t know all the millisecond and milligram details that your supposed to use about the birth of a child, but yesterday a healthy little boy was born to the Gyre family of Garfield yesterday. They named him River and he weighed 10 lbs and however many ounces.

River has excellent parents. I know, because despite their being chronologically younger than I am, they have taken care of me at some of my most helpless and infantile moments in the past few years. I’m a little jealous because I wish they had taken care of me since birth, though.