When the “Angry Inch” Takes a Mile

I don’t hate your SUV, I just don’t understand your obsession with these big plastic boxes. I understand why Crusaders, farmers, park rangers, professional flea marketeers, and even soccer moms need such a vehicle. The “U” is for utility, and it’s not hard to wrap your brain around that. It’s the “S” that loses me. What “sport” are you using that thing for? Not that I don’t doubt that the IOC would make gas burning or freestyle parallel parking into Olympic events. Personally, I’d rather see them used for polo or buzkashi.

Or does “sport” refer to the officially sanctioned outlet for homoeroticism, where there is nothing “abnormal” about spending hours watching and adulating sweaty musclebound millionaires grapple for cash and prizes? I guess we’ll never know.

Something else we may never know, is whether these big plastic boxes are a way for males who are insecure about the dimensions of their generative organs to be able to look at themselves in the rear-view mirror. Sure, sometimes a cigar is just a cigar, but the SUV as strap-on which uses seatbelts, is an easy explanation for fanaticism which surrounds these vehicles. Some guys seem ready to kill or die for their canary yellow “Hummer”. Others will jeopardize their public reputations and careers for these five-figure vibrators.

Two such obsessives are Pittsburgh Mayor, Luke Ravenstahl, and Miami Police Chief, John Timoney both who have recently come under scrutiny for their irrational behaviors about playing with trucks.

Ravenstahl, used a vehicle that was bought with Homeland Security funds, to tailgate with friends, at what appears to be a mandatory field trip for City employees. I don’t know if Lukey actually lives at his North Side address, but since he grew up in the suburbs(unless Reserve Twp. is in the City), his Toby Keith fandom is a little more plausible. A City cop was almost disciplined for blowing the whistle on him. It’s serious when the spectre of police accountability is raised. Local religious judge Mullah Marybeth Buchanan has even promised to put her best agents on the case. Luke’s even invoking GW-style executive privilege in the name of “Homeland Security” (fatherland was already taken) on this one. Is this a variant of the RV from Stripes?

Size (and likely age) seem to matter to repression celebrity, police chief, and father of bumbling drug addicts and dealers, John Timoney, whose latest victims are in Miami. Timoney accepted the use of a free Lexus SUV with dealer tags, for more than a year, before buying it for $54,000. Maybe it’s just healthy hatred for the boss, but even his own officers held a symbolic (but aren’t they all?) vote of no confidence in T-$, as they apparently refer to him in Miami.

I don’t know why these two are willing to jeopardize their reputations and careers to play trucks. Only their wives and mistresses know for sure

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Love Park 4: Court Reportback and Trial Date Set

On October 3rd, the Love Park 4 appeared in Philadelphia Municipal Court for their first court date. As expected – since they were just scheduled for a preliminary hearing and the courtroom was over packed as usual – not much happened. The prosecution passed some discovery to the defendants’ legal team and a trial date was set. Defendants are now scheduled for trial on December 13, 2007 in courtroom 1003 at the Criminal Justice Center in Center City Philadelphia. The Love Park 4 Defense Committee is encouraging friends, family and comrades to pack the courtroom that day to show their support and solidarity for the defendants.

Members of the Love Park 4 Defense Committee are confident that with the right resources, all of the anti-fascists arrested will be able to defeat these outrageous charges which could potentially result in tens of thousands of dollars in fines and years of jail time. The Defense Committee also reports that the defendants themselves are confident in their lawyers ability to help them beat the trumped up charges, and are currently proceeding towards trial in December with cautious optimism.

With that said, however, the Love Park 4 are still in need of your help. They do need the resources to win this legal battle and you can help right now!

Simply go to PayPal, click on the “Send Money” tab and make a donation to arastore@hotmail.com. If you wish to send funds through the mail, send a check or well concealed cash to

Heartsville Community Space
PO Box 5917
Philadelphia, PA 19137.

Make sure to note that it is for The Love Park 4 and leave room in the “To” field to add a name.

Write to philly_ara@yahoo.com to receive updates on our case and find out how else you can lend a hand. You can also visit the Support the Love Park 4 Myspace or the Love Park 4 blog for more information and background on the case.

Catching Up (Part 4.) September 24-30

Catching Up (Part 3.) September 17-23

  • September 17: Everyone at a John Kerry speech should be Tasered, including hecklers, cops, and Kerrys alike. In a representative government individual politicians go away if ignored.

Catching Up: (Part 2.) September 9-16

*In the words of a great mind.

Catching Up: (Part 1.) September 1-8

Apparently life goes on whether I remark on it or not, and I feel half guilty taking September off, so I’ll try and catch up. There’s some big stuff in the works, including a collaboration with a dear comrade and little brother, on a piece about the folly of ethical consumption and an overblown commentary on Mike Vick and his sporting dogs.

  • September 1 : It wouldn’t be a long weekend, if we didn’t celebrate “our freedom” with Taliban/Carry Nation checkpoints and police crackdowns.
  • September 2: Pittsburgh Food Not Bombs hosted what was apparently a great block party.
  • September 3: Labor Day is May 1, you big dummies.
  • September 4: The Pittsburgh Organizing Group began it’s “End War FAST“, in an alleged effort to close the Forbes Avenue recruiting station. I hope no one really believed that the US military cares who eats and who doesn’t, and that blue-haired liberal ladies got out their checkbooks, which seems to be a more realistic goal for a hunger strike. For some reason, their use of all-caps in the word “FAST” drove me crazy.
  • September 5: Suburban golden boy, whose family used their City address, turned Mayor, Luke Ravenstahl, dropped by the Zone 3 police station, to get his picture taken using the City’s new cyber-snitch website.
  • September 6: The dollar fell. I hope it hits the ground before it wakes up.
  • September 7: The region’s second-worst “badge bunny“, head-trauma patient, and “Man of Faith” (don’t worry Mr. Zapalla, you’re still #1) donated money to buy shit for police dogs in Cleveland. Ben, you may or may not know this (or be able to read this), but police dogs have managed to bite black folks just fine, long before morons like you thought they needed body armor. Anti-American Idol, Osama (that’s Usama for you FOX viewers)bin Laden, releases a new tape and unveils his new look. I like it better than his old stuff.
  • September 8: Minor skirmishes outside the APEC summit in Sydney, Australia result in arrests.

Back by Popular Demand

My hiatus (it hurts to type sometimes) had almost turned into retirement, except that I’m vain and a sucker to idle flattery, so look for new stuff in the next few days.

Thank you for the kind words and encouragement.